Phone chargers and rejection

My phone was dead when I woke up this morning. I can’t seem to locate a charging base, which I always refer to as “base charger.” It drives Aaron nuts, and I also like to put on my best southern accent and yell from another room, “Airn! I cain’t find my base charger!” He always comes to my aid. I love him.

Anyway, I don’t care that my phone is dead. I’m not expecting any calls, especially not this early on a Sunday.

So, I’m a planner in life. I plan plan plan. “This is my next plan!” I’ll excitedly tell anyone who sees me after I came up with said plan. I think part of me feels like what I’m doing in the present is never enough. I have to do more! Be better! So…I applied to graduate school, because that was my next plan! I applied only to one, because why should I apply anywhere else? I’m a shoo-in!

And y’all, I was denied. Ouch.

Now, I could declare verbal war on the institution that decided I was not what they wanted, but I did not and will not. I shed some tears, beasted through my workouts, took some deep breaths, did have a few beers, and that was it. I DID NOT BINGE EAT. I DID NOT SELF-DESTRUCT.

I’ve received great clarity this week. This one denial does not mean my career goals have ended. I will continue to find ways to better serve others. This also means I can relax and enjoy being a mom without school stress. I’m signing up to be the Daisy leader in Julia’s Girl Scout troop. Aaron is going to be her soccer coach, and me the team manager.

This also means NO MORE STUDENT LOANS.

We are living the dream, and there is plenty of time to build onto the dream.

There was once a time where I wondered if I would ever be where I am right now. Cool with food? Cool with letting the world know my imperfections? Cool with telling the world that I, Tiara, was REJECTED?!

Yup.

And channeling the Elton John song, I’m still standin’. Not only am I still standing, but I’m standing tall, like the lady who truly believed she was 5’6″ and put it on her first license, but is actually only 5’4″, but will still stand as though she is 5’6″.

That lady is me, btdubs.

Happy Sunday.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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2 thoughts on “Phone chargers and rejection

  1. Quite tall are ya? It happens to the best of us. We all have that damn moment of denial, but as that door closes another opens. It’s awesome to hear after that happened to you, you automatically looked at the positive. I’m also going through a similar in situation in which things didn’t turn out the way I saw it. But like you I’m trying to find the good… It doesn’t help that I’m sick right now either (so please excuse my crazy comment hopefully it makes sense). Very strong you are and I hope I can eventually be as open as you are about disappointments, my body,….my vulernabiility. Truly inspiring because once you see it all you learn to continue to tackle it head on and do better than the last
    Night.

    Like

    • I kept thinking while I was waiting for the school’s response, “If this door doesn’t easily open, another one will.” There was such a delay from the time I applied to when I received their decision that I had guessed that I probably wasn’t going to get in. But it still stung. It wasn’t meant to be, not there anyway.
      Thank you for your kind words. I wasn’t always open to sharing my vulnerabilities, but as time has gone on, I want to put it out there so that other people know they aren’t alone. It helps to share it, too. Like I’m finally cool with not being perfect, and telling everyone else who is interested about it. It’s been so healing for me. Speaking of healing, please feel better! Drink a lot of water and enjoy a warm shower!

      Like

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